Thesis on "Women Men and Communication"

Thesis 8 pages (3644 words) Sources: 5 Style: APA

[EXCERPT] . . . .

Women, Men Communication

It has often been said that the teenagers of today grow up to fast, that their lives become mirrors of adult life rapidly as they begin working and managing their own time. Many people also claim that there are very limited opportunities for the young person to experience rites of passage that allow them to be embraced by the community in which they live and accepted as an adult and that in the past these opportunities have been present and available to young people, both male and female in many cultures and locals. It could also be argued that the opportunities for these rites of passage are waning as a result of secularization, and immigration, as such rights are commonly religious and/or culturally based. One expert on rites of passage made these observations and posed these questions with regard to rites of passage;

Today's teenagers, she felt, are without moorings or elders capable of transmitting enduring human values to the young. I admitted that, like her, I was concerned about my children's transition into adulthood: If wise elders don't initiate adolescents, won't adolescents initiate themselves? But who, I mused, will train us uninitiated adults in the art of initiating? (Grimes, 2000, p. 2)

Grimes stresses in his work that rites of passage, which no longer have a foundational lineage are currently being sought by modern parents as a way to assist in the laborious process of guiding young people toward the right, rather than toward self-defined social mores and standards that are not always agreeable to living an upstanding role in society. In other words if parents and communities continue to allow a limited line of communication for teens, and continue to allow the pressures and exposures of modern life to influence teens they will likely define adulthood on their own, and run the risk of doing so ineffectively. Revivals of or creation of rites of passage traditions, for girls has likely been in correlation to feminist thought and research, as feminism and the attempt to bring women into the world as equal and knowledgeable adults often dominates the thinking of parents and communities regarding girls. (Grimes, 2000, p. 155) Rites of passage for boys seem to have then waned, though there is also a more current revival at hand for this. The challenge it seems for boys is that rites of passage, culturally have been associated with traditional experiences, sometimes strength and violence related and as these issues are no longer acceptable for expression in modern life rites of passage have no foundation to be reborn from. (Grimes, 2000, p. 99) Excluding of course the Jewish faith and culture that stresses knowledge above action and whose tradition is based upon religious knowledge rather than knowledge of hunting, sexuality or physical strength. (Grimes, 2000, p. 62) Our modern culture no longer wishes our children be married, bearing children or expressing base instinctual traditions that would not be acceptable in public, when they are in their teens, those these things occur in a break through way and are seen not as prideful rites of passage but errors in good judgment. It is in fact these premature or unacceptable events in a teens life, that are attempting to be eradicated by the guidance that would be offered to a girl or boy from a parental or community-based positive rite of passage. (Lynch, 1999, p. 38)

This work will compare the genders by comparing expressions of rites of passage for young girls and boys. The work will examine the rites of passage that occur for teens in the form of the quinceaneras (Mexico) as compared to the "sweet 16" party (U.S.) but for boys the traditions are harder to find and largely associated with industry, driving, and wage earning and are clearly much more subtle than they have been in the past. Each of these "rites" for girls marks a particular year in the life of a child, in the case of the quinceaneras the 15th and in the case of the Sweet 16 obviously the 16th. The work will also touch on the general desire by some to renew rites of passage for both girls and boys, to help mitigate and/or prevent the sometimes destructive human behaviors that occur for some, as a result of opportunity, exposure and a perceived lack of guidance.

The tradition of the quinceaneras is actually nearly exclusive to girls, as is the sweet 16 party in the U.S. It seems that the rights of passage that were traditionally offered to both boys and girls at times have been offered almost exclusively to boys are again changing and now are offered almost exclusively to girls. The kinds of rights of passage that boys experience seem to be much more subtle and are often associated not with a celebration but with events such as obtaining a driver's license, a car and in many cases beginning paid work. Though this can also be said for girls, especially in the U.S. The cultural traditions for girls have been reinvigorated to some degree while they have been nearly eliminated for boys. Male rights of passage have always been associated with work, be that work associated with the warrior or hunting industry or as in the Jewish culture the ability of a boy (at 13) to begin to be a harbinger of religious knowledge. There are some instances, though rare in both cultures where boys have quinceaneras or large parties for their sixteenth birthday in the U.S. these practices are not common and much less preparation goes into them, at least in the case of sweet sixteen parties. When quinceaneras are held for boys it is often simply for the sake of the mother, who has no daughters and wants to go through the experience of a quinceanera, hardly for the sake of the boy himself. This is simply observational information that cannot be corroborated by research as it is anecdotal rather than research based.

Historical views of rites of passage for women have evolved over the years and have come to mean different things in different cultures. In early European cultures the rites of passage for women often began an ended with marriage, as it was upon her marriage that the individual girl was acknowledged as being likely to survive into adulthood and potentially produce heirs. In certain societies these rites took place at the age of 12 or even earlier (depending on the wealth and connections of the family). Yet, in the upper classes at least these young women were governed by a totally different set of rules and standards that by virtue of a logical acknowledgement that the girl had not yet reached full sexual or physical maturity, was often not fully espoused in a mature sexual relationship until much later.

A study of the lives of elite women in England and France between 1050 and 1300 illustrates this reality. 2 Compared with twentieth century norms, their life stages were understood in different ways, and their paths to adulthood were marked by other events and phenomena than those that typically characterize modern-day coming-of-age experiences. (Stoertz, 2001, p. 22)

The understanding was enforced by the fact that living arrangements and the domestic roles of husbands and wives were decidedly different than they are today, as most couples (especially in wealthy homes) did not sleep together or even share the same areas of the home as each other. (Stoertz, 2001, pp. 22-23) in a sense the marriage ceremony and what we typically think of as an engagement party were one in the same, the child bride would be "married" often move to the home of her husband but not be expected to perform all the rights and duties of a wife until a few years had passed.

The puberty rights or rights of passage that are associated with the beginning of or even end of adolescence are frequent anthropological and cultural events, seen in many cultures. Some cultures, such as the above European example have combined such rites with the rites of marriage while others have (and some still do) participate in rites of passage that are wholly separate from marriage but signify the attainment of the age of conception;

Attaining Age: The most important event in the life of a village girl -even more important than her wedding -- is the occurrence of her first menstrual period and the ensuing ritual and festivities. While a young woman's wedding in a poor village like Suduwatura Ara is frequently a small event or totally lacking -- either the girl's parents are unable to pay for the dowry and the many trappings or the young couple elopes -the onset of the first menses, called "attaining age," provides a focus of attention for each girl in Sri Lanka. It is considered the rite of passage from girlhood into womanhood. Boys have no comparable ritual. (Baker, 2000, p. 62)

Similar cultural experiences, surrounding weddings are significant for boys as well, in some cultures,… READ MORE

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