Term Paper on "Conflict Resolution Analysis"
Term Paper 10 pages (2903 words) Sources: 1+ Style: APA
[EXCERPT] . . . .
Sociology - Conflict ResolutionCASE ANALYSIS and CONFLICT RESOLUTION
As parent of two growing boys, my partner and I have certainly experienced our share of conflicts that required resolutions over the years. Sometimes, these conflicts relate to disagreements with our parental decisions; other times, they have more to do with negotiating fair resolutions in disputes between the boys themselves. Luckily, with one of our sons ready to graduate from high school and the other already settled into college as a sophomore, most of the conflicts, trials, and tribulations of childhood and adolescence are in our past. Nevertheless, in retrospect, my partner and I have both learned a tremendous amount about human nature, negotiating solutions to conflicts, anticipating potential triggers for conflict, as well as almost as much about ourselves by virtue of our parental experiences.
Situational Conflicts:
In a home with two boys, the opportunity for potential conflicts seems almost unlimited, both in the variety of contexts in which it can arise as well as in its unpredictability and capacity to erupt seemingly spontaneously. Given the fact that our family relationships are generally loving and supportive, I can only begin to imagine how often more substantial or serious conflicts arise in comparatively less healthy family situations. If anything, the fact that our children were always close friends and that our family was essentially very healthy demonstrates how easily specific situations can spark heated conflicts even between individuals who genuinely care for each other and have absolutely no serious chronic issues or underlying animosit
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When our boys were young, conflicts often arose over the perception or belief on the part of one child that the other was the only one allowed a certain privilege. Since one boy is two years older than his brother, we became quite accustomed to the mantra "It's not fair!" over everything from curfews and division of household chores to rules about acceptable television programming and using the Internet without adult supervision. That particular dynamic sometimes reversed itself altogether, such as where our older boy realized that the relative privileges of his seniority over his brother sometimes amounted to more of a liability than a benefit. For example, when they were 13 and 15 years of age respectively, the older objected to the fact that it was sometimes his sole responsibility to run errands within a short bike ride of our home. Neither he nor his brother was allowed to bike more than a few blocks from the house until the age of 14.
Not that there was necessarily anything particularly significant about that specific age, but it seemed appropriate to us and commensurate with the rate that our oldest seemed to be developing a sense of responsibility, judgment, and sense of personal safety issues.
Consequently, for the last two years before our youngest reached the age of 14, his older brother found himself saddled with various chores that, by house rule, he could not barter, negotiate, trade or trick his way into substituting his brother into his obligation. Predictably, on those occasions, the crux of his argument was identical to his brother's and we were treated to a chorus of "It's not fair!" In the slightly deeper voice of a young man.
Power Issues:
Some of the most insightful lessons of raising a family were those that my partner and I learned about ourselves. Eventually, we came to the mutual realization that our children, despite their obvious lack of relative power with respect to us, still had the capacity to provoke us into reacting more to the need to maintain the power position than the actual need for our response to objective issues. In several instances, a minor dispute between one of our boys and one of us led to conflict between the two of us after the other happened to agree with the boy's position. Sometimes, we resisted conceding a point of contention less because the alternative made a significant difference, but more by virtue of the perception that we were losing the power position in the discussion.
Looking back on it, it is embarrassing to think of, especially because in reality, we always enjoyed both genuine authority as parents as well as the perception on the part of our boys that we did. Likewise, I can recall instances where, if I am forced to be completely honest, an 8-year-old inspired an argument and conflict between his parents over the need to save face in front of the child. As between the two of us, we had no power struggles or issues under normal circumstances, which makes it all that more surprising at some of the arguments that were capable of being triggered by our children.
As between the boys, the older child enjoyed a natural position of power, both real as well as mutually perceived, with respect to his brother by virtue of their differences in age. In childhood and early adolescence, the older genuinely seemed to relish this disparity, and if I were to play amateur psychiatrist, I would postulate that this was at least partly a way of compensating for his experiences being the low man on the totem poll in relation to his parents. Consequently, I noticed that he wielded his power over his brother more after having to capitulate to his parents' wishes and comparatively less when he got his way with us.
By the time our youngest was 15 or 16, his relationship with his older brother changed significantly. It is difficult to know how much parental intervention was responsible and how much of that change was simply a natural progression, but on several occasions we did explain to our oldest that his brother admired him and that sometimes, his rubbing his brother's face in his relative lack of power in their relationship was more hurtful to his brother than he either realized or intended his displays to be. Personal Style Issues:
My partner and I differ in our personal styles when it comes to responding to conflict in that he tends to react immediately whereas I am more prone to withdrawing from the situation. My withdrawal is a function of my need to consider the issues in a non-confrontational setting than it is a reflection of my need to avoid resolution or (especially) of any need to control the situation passively by requiring others to pursue my continued involvement.
That was something that necessitated explanation early in our relationship, even before the arrival of our children. My partner used to think that I withdrew from arguments as an attempt to change the power dynamic until I explained that I simply prefer, as a matter of lifelong personal style, to compose my responses to any conflict privately and out of the other party's presence. Once I have that opportunity, I am once again available to resolve the issues. Until I explained that to my partner, we suffered through several arguments where, in addition to the underlying topic of disagreement, we also found ourselves bickering over why one of us insisted on continuing the discussion when the other desired time alone, and vice-versa.
Generally, neither my partner nor I is competitive by nature, but our boys are intensely competitive with each other as well as with us. Again, my amateur psychiatry skills suggest that wiping the floor with their parents, whether on the backyard basketball court or in simulated video warfare, fulfilled a need to create some sense of balance in relationships where parental authority is, ultimately, the law of the land. Notwithstanding our parental authority, we learned, in too many ways to detail in a single essay, the crucial importance of negotiating acceptable solutions to conflicts by emphasizing compromise, objective fairness, collaboration, and accommodation.
Assessment: Because of the nature of family arguments, our conflicts tended to be repetitive in that the same issues recurred many times throughout their cycle until they were resolved or, just as often, rendered moot by the passage of time and circumstances. The rule about not bicycling more than a few blocks from the home until the age of 14 is one such example; the transition of our sons' relationship from rivals to friends is another.
Other times, solutions suggested themselves suggested by subjective differences and individual preferences. For example, we believe that taking a shared responsibility for routine household chores builds a respect for the rights of others and minimizes the unhealthy development of a sense of entitlement sometimes associated with overly indulged children. Therefore, rather than employ household help, we have always assigned chores to the boys in the nature of cleaning up after meals, washing dishes, vacuuming, laundry, tidying up the family room, cutting the lawn, and so forth.
Initially, we devised a chore chart rotating responsibility for various chores so that each boy had the same chance to perform his preferred chores and that neither had greater responsibility for chores he detested. After wasting significant amount of time and energy mediating arguments over who owed whom for past debts… READ MORE
Quoted Instructions for "Conflict Resolution Analysis" Assignment:
“End of Term Conflict Analysis
Overview
The purpose of this paper (10-12 pages) is for you to analyze a specific conflict you have had or continue to have with a specific person. Your relationship to this person may be ongoing or in the past. You must incorporate course concepts and terminology from the text in your analysis and self-reflection.
Process
Before writing: Section I of this assignment sheet includes questions for you to think about before writing your essay.
Writing the paper: Sections II *****“VIII of this assignment sheet include questions for you to consider as you write about the nature of your conflict, the role of power, individual styles, assessment, personal intervention, prevention, and possible solutions to your conflict. You may not need to answer every question in each section. Write your analysis in paragraph form, not as short answers to each question. The questions are to help you frame your analysis.
After writing the first draft: Ask a classmate, friend, or some other third party to review your essay. Ask for suggestions about how to improve the paper or ways you might better manage the conflict.
Submitting the final draft: After gathering feedback from the third party, write your final draft. Be sure to include an introduction that previews the content of your paper and a conclusion that summarizes the major concepts and describes what you have learned from writing this paper.
I. Warm-Up Questions
Please give a brief description on your relationship with the other party.
Where and how did you two meet? How long have you known each other?
What is the current nature of your relationship?
Do or did you live together? How long?
Did anyone else live with you?
How would you describe your overall relationship?
How would you describe your relationship now, compared to when you first met?
II. Nature of the Conflict
When did the conflict start? What caused it? Was it a series of events or one event?
When did the conflict originate? Why did it occur?
Use a metaphor to describe your conflict.
Has the nature of this conflict changed over time? If so, how?
How do you feel about the conflict?
How do you think the other person feels about the conflict?
How does the other person feel about how you feel about conflict?
How do you think the other person feels about you?
What would you like to see come from this conflict?
How would you like to see it resolved? What are your goals?
What do you think the other person thinks your goals are?
Do you interfere (current or past) with what you think the other person's goals are? If so, how?
Does the other person interfere (current or past) with your goals? If so, how?
Has the other done so in the past?
Does the other realize you are interfering with his or her goals?
Have you noticed your goals changing since the beginning of the conflict?
Do you feel the other person*****s goals changed since the beginning of the conflict?
What do you think the other person thinks your goals are?
Are there others who have become involved in your conflict? Do others feel they need to take sides in this dispute? How did they influence your decisions and behaviors?
Has this conflict become destructive? Does it waver between constructive and destructive or does follow one type exclusively? Has it always been this way?
III. Power
How much power do you feel you have?
How much power does the other person have?
Do you think the other person has more power than you? Why or why not?
How do you feel the other person views your power?
How do you think your power affects the conflict?
How do you think the other person*****s power affects the relationship?
What qualities do you feel you have that the other values?
What qualities do you value about the other person?
Has this conflict considerably altered your daily life with the other? If so, how?
Do you think that the other will agree with you regarding who has the power?
What do you depend on from the other person?
What does the other person depend on you for?
Does the other person ever feel threatened by you? Do you think you threaten the other person?
Who do you think has more power?
Who does the other person think has more power?
IV. Styles
What specific choices do you make in the conflict?
What individual conflict styles do you use?
a) Avoidance*****”minimize open discussion of the conflict
b) Competition*****”one person wins, the other person loses
c) Compromise*****”you and the other person give something up in order to reach an agreement
d) Collaboration*****”working together to find solutions that benefit both parties
e) Accommodation*****”avoid asserting one*****s own needs and prefering to cooperate
Does your style vary with the situation? Why? How?
What is the other*****s style of conflict?
a) Avoidance*****”minimize open discussion of the conflict
b) Competition*****”one person wins, the other person loses
c) Compromise*****”you and the other person give something up in order to reach an agreement
d) Collaboration*****”working together to find solutions that benefit both parties
e) Accommodation*****”avoid asserting one*****s own needs and prefering to cooperate
Does the other*****s style vary? Why? How?
What tactics does the other person use?
What do you or the other person do to keep the conflict going?
Do you or the other person suggest solutions? If so, what are they? Are the solutions followed through with? How? Why or why not?
What nonverbal behavior do you notice in the other during a conflict?
If you do notice a behavior change, does that influence your conflict style?
Do you preplan your choices of words and actions during a conflict, or are you more spontaneous?
Do you feel the other person preplans their word or actions?
Do you or your partner ever start conflicts deliberately? How and why?
How will you handle the conflict if it is not resolved?
Is there anything that you'd like to say or do but haven't? Why or why not?
V. Assessment
Is the conflict repetitive? If so, how? How much time has been spent trying to solve the conflict?
Did you think that the conflict could be changed?
What would you like to see happen?
Did you try to change your behavior in any way? Who or what influenced this?
Did the other person change his or her behavior? Who or what influenced this? Why do you think this happened?
Do your conflicts ever carry over into other aspects of your life? In what ways?
Does this dispute carry over into other aspects of the other person*****s life?
Are other members of your household ever drawn into your conflicts? How? How do they feel about this?
Has there ever been a conflict that has not been resolved in the earlier stages of the relationship? Why not? What was its impact?
What differences have you noticed in the other person since your conflict?
What differences in yourself have you noticed since your conflict began?
How would you like to see your conflict resolved? Do you think it will be resolved this way?
What do you think will happen to the relationship in the future?
VI. Personal Intervention
How do you express your anger?
How does the other person express their anger?
How could you manage your anger better? (i.e. alternatives)
How could the other person manage anger better?
What other changes, if any, would you like to make in your behavior? What would you like to change about the other?
Do you feel comfortable saying how you really feel? Do you share your true feelings? What about the other person?
VII. Solutions
How might the situation have been handled better?
Have attempted solutions become part of the problem? How? Why or why not?
Can you think of any solutions that have not been tried? Would you like to try any of these? What additional resources might you need?
What do you think will be the long-term relationship between you and the other person?
Do you believe there is something you could do to resolve this? What is it? How would you go about it? Would it make you happy to do this?
Do you believe that there is a way you could compromise? Collaborate? What would you perceive to be a win-win situation?
In what ways do you attempt to control and alleviate this conflict?
In what ways does the other attempt to control and alleviate this conflict?
Are you satisfied with the current outcome or do you wish a better solution could be found?
VIII. Prevention
Do you think this conflict could have been prevented? If so, how?
How might future conflicts be prevented?
Would a third party be helpful or has a third party been helpful?
Chapter 11 discusses *****learning from my history.***** What have you learned from your history with this conflict?
What relationship and identity issues do you have in this conflict? Are they similar to issues you have in other conflicts? How might you address these?
What communication skills might help you better manage conflict in the future?
Paper Format:
 Text Spacing Double
 Text Font Times New Roman
 Text Font Size 12 points
 Cover Font & Size no specifications
 Margins one inch
 Text Limit 10-12 pages (this does not include the cover page, content page, illustration page or works cited page.
 Content Layout APA Format (handout will be provided)
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