Term Paper on "Prayer Diary"

Term Paper 17 pages (5975 words) Sources: 1

[EXCERPT] . . . .

Prayer Diary

Entry One remembered the first time I prayed formally with my mom, in a moment other than simply saying grace before dinner. My hands clasped fervently, I pleaded with God to bring my dog back to life and when I did this my mom told me that God took my dog to Heaven and that Heaven is a better place. She also said that I should never question God's will and so ever since, I have prayed for God's will and not my own. As in the Lord's Prayer from the Bible, "Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven."

Another time, I conveniently forgot the maxim about letting God's will supercede mine. I had a crush on a boy at school and thoughts of him consumed me. I wanted to be with him so badly that it hurt, even though I barely knew who the boy was or whether God wanted us to be together or not. When I prayed to God to make him fall in love with me, I instantly felt silly and then it hit me and I remembered that day when I was a child praying for my dog to come back to life. That boy turned out to be a drug user who ended up in jail and I thanked God for sparing me that life.

This day I again forgot to pray for God's will and not my own. Again it involved a boy who I am infatuated with, who I know from school. He has blue eyes and dark hair and a captivating smile. I wanted him badly enough to endure sinful thoughts about him and even became willing to have sex with him. Not only did I become willing to have sex with him but I started to flirt with him in school, more and more each day until one day we were kissing by his car. Desire overcame me and I agreed to go over to his house. When we got there I started to become afraid. Deep down I knew I was doing something wrong. Somehow being in his house triggered thoughts about how sinful my actions had become and how I still had a chance to pray for salvation. I went into the bathroom and closed my eyes. I prayed hard, repeating the Lord's Prayer over and over asking for God's will to be done for so long that eventually the boy knocked on the door wondering what was taking me so long. I said I'd be right out. When I left the bathroom, the boy was worried about me and I told him honestly that I was a Christian and did not want to have sex before I got married. I said that my faith in Jesus meant more to me than anything else and braced myself for him to laugh at me. When instead he looked into my eyes and smiled and held my hand and said "It's ok," I knew my prayer had been answered. Jesus had saved me from sin, and God lead me away from temptation, delivering me from evil. His is the power and the glory.

Today was one of the most important days in my Christian life. It was perhaps the day that my faith became the clearest and most powerful. Praying for God's will resulted directly in joy, happiness, and peace. I was afraid and worried and God helped relieve me of those fears as well as of the willful desire to commit sin. It made me realize that praying for God's will is the same as praying for what I want, only better. God always wants what is best for me and for all of us. When we pray for what we want selfishly we might receive it because God does listen to our prayers. However, what we want might be against the teachings of Jesus, and those things could lead us farther astray from the path of righteousness. I am happy today that I trusted God instead of myself. I could easily have had sex and in one instant thrown away all I have worked for as a Christian. Instead I let God lead me to Him. The result is that I feel more mature. I am a stronger person because of taking a few moments to pray by myself in a boy's bathroom. The situation proved that I can find God at any time, in any place. I go to Church to renew my faith and remind myself that I am not alone. When I am alone is when my faith is truly put to the test.

Entry Two

Keeping a prayer journal is going to be very helpful, as I already noticed when I prayed not to be led into temptation by a boy. The fact that I had to write down my experiences with prayer helps me be more accountable for my actions. I know that I have to be honest with myself, with my Church, and with all other Christians as well as to God. Lying is also a sin. I was tempted to lie today. It was too easy for me to pretend that the lie did not matter. I was barely aware that my actions were sins, which makes today another significant moment in my Christian life. The fact that I had enough of the Lord's spirit in my mind, heart, and soul to reflect on my actions meant that I was making progress in hearing and being willing to listen to the still voice of God within me. Something told me to pray today and I did, and it saved me from having to repent for lying.

What happened was that I cheated and my teacher asked me if I cheated. I said no, and the lie echoed in my head all day long. On the way home, I prayed. I asked for God's forgiveness both for my having cheated and also for my having lied. For some reason it was harder to lie than it was to cheat, probably because I had to lie directly to another human being. God created each of us in His image and so it was like I was lying directly to God. Cheating seemed more impersonal and so I did not realize how much of a sin that was until I had to lie to protect myself.

On the way home I prayed, first for forgiveness and then for guidance. What should I do to rectify my sin? I knew that the only way to make good from the sin was to counter the lie with the truth. I then prayed for the courage to tell the truth. It was one of the hardest things I had to do: to admit that I cheated and accept the consequences. I knew that telling the truth might hurt me in some ways but in other ways it would heal my soul. It was the right thing to do. It was what God wanted me to do, and no matter what, God would protect me.

I went back to school after lunch and almost chickened out. My grades were becoming more important to me because of wanting to go to college and I was afraid I would fail. I prayed again, remembering to surrender to God's will. That reminded me that God's will was to tell the truth no matter what and so I blurted out to the teacher "I cheated." I said I was sorry and that I would never do it again, and the teacher gave me a lecture and told me that I would receive a failing grade on that assignment but that I could make it up by doing some extra credit work. She said she knew I was a good student who was under a lot of pressure. It was as if God spoke His forgiveness through her, because she let me make up for my sin with righteous action. I felt so humbled and grateful that I almost cried.

This day taught me so much about being Christian and about prayer that I could write for days about it. I have a lot to learn about being a good Christian and avoiding the kinds of situations that create sin and desire. I should never have cheated in the first place. That was the initial sin that led to my lying and so I prayed that I would never cheat ever again. My prayers today were for God's will, and I have to remember that cheating and lying are never in the service of God's will. If I am afraid of consequences like failing or getting into trouble, then I need to pray for courage and strength instead of acting like a sinner. I know people who lie a lot and it seems like they get away with it, but in the day of Judgment they will have to face God themselves and then, they will not… READ MORE

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