Term Paper on "Marriage Contract"

Term Paper 4 pages (1354 words) Sources: 1+

[EXCERPT] . . . .

Marriage Contract

Attitudes toward marriage in the younger generation have definitely changed over the last few decades. Though many young people are stating that marriage is important to them and that they will most likely choose at some point in their lifetime to get married, their hopes for these marriages to last a lifetime are very small. Mostly they feel that, even though the idea of lifelong commitment is ideal, it is a very difficult goal that very few will actually reach. The esteem they hold for couples who have remained together for lengthy periods of time is high, but they feel they are rare and that the chances of actually being one of those couples themselves is slim. Along with this sentiment is the growing acceptance of bearing children out of wedlock and the general opinion that single-parent households are just as acceptable as a traditional family. Trends also seem to indicate that most young people feel that divorce is quite easy in today's social and legal climate, and that there is likely little fight or effort to save a marriage, and far less agonizing over the social stigmas of divorce. Also, there is a growing sentiment that cohabitation before marriage, or instead of, marriage is not only acceptable but often the preferred course of events to insure that the marriage would be a happy one if the couple decided to move in that direction (Whitehead & Popenoe, 1999).

All of these opinions are in rather stark contrast to the opinions of the older generations. Not only were older generations expected and expecting to marry, but it was generally accepted that they would remain married for the course of their lives. This does not necessarily mean that they expected to be happy within those marriages, however, they simply believed very strongly in the vows they took during the wedding ceremony and there was simply no question whether they would or wouldn't weather the rough times with the good -- they simply stuck it out. Long courtships structured with extreme amounts of etiquette were observed and most of the older generation dated only a few people within their close community of church, school, neighborhood, and parents' friends' children. These long courtships did not include the option of cohabitation as it was viewed as very distasteful -- likely because of the strict opinions held about pre-marital sex. Also, many of the older generation still held strong traditional beliefs on securing parental approval prior to any engagement, and pregnancy out of wedlock was absolutely shameful. Single-parenting carried with it a heavy stigma that is born out of that same shame. Of course, single mothers were often nearly desperate to find a man to marry since working outside of the home was almost as bad as being a single mother in the first place.

As far as love itself goes, the most interesting thing to note about generational attitudes towards love is that very little has changed in the perception of love over the years, but individuals' attitudes toward love change and evolve over their lifetime. Teenagers strive for and dream of an intense romantic love characterized by passion and an extreme feeling of arousal and physical connection with another person. They imagine love being much like in a romantic movie where there are constant episodes of whirlwind romantic activity and an intense desire to engage the other person physically every time they see each other. They not only expect, but wish intensely for this kind of passion and smoldering emotions (Knox, 1970).

However, as people age their views of love evolve into a more realistic view. This is likely in reaction to the practically, every day concerns that come with lovers once they have "settled down" into married life. The worries over securing employment, paying bills, rearing children, and taking care of aging parents all place romance on the back burner. The intensity of the love dies down and takes the form of a more intellectual and spiritual connection. Not only does love evolve in this way, but single… READ MORE

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