Dissertation on "La Malinche / Hernan Cortes"

Quoted Instructions for "La Malinche / Hernan Cortes" Assignment:

A Hermeneutical/Heuristic Qualitative Design Dissertation to address the following dissertation research topic: What can the story of La Malinche and Hernan Cortez reveal about the role of secrecy in erotic romantic love?

Dissertation to focus on Jungian, Archetypal, Psychoanalytic and Feminist perspectives.

Please focus on writing a 3-4 page section on these subheading: 1. Purpose Statement, 2. Introduction (personal transference to the research question included in attached file) and 3. A 1 page to half a paragraph for the Statement of the Research Problem. Please refer to the dissertationguidelinesforfirstpart. word document uploaded in files section for formating and specifications that must be followed.

Information/IDEAS on the topic:

This is my dissertation question. Below you will find my own transference to the topic of my dissertation. You will also see references.

Dissertation Question

What can the story of La Malinche and Cortez reveal about the role of secrecy in erotic romantic love?

Process paper #1 on my transference to the work and some comments to help from the professor.

I continue to be claimed by Eros. At times I am left breathless with a hint of a sweet taste in my mouth leaving me wanting more. On other occasions I have found myself in such a reverie that the thought of engaging further into the work, humbles me, scare me and seduces me. Without a doubt, it is a chaotic state in which the id and superego are constantly at odds with one another. What is unfolding beyond my control is the rhythm of the Aztec warrior*****s drum as he sings an ancient tale of a sensual Aztec woman who lost sight of rationality and tradition, consumed and burned by the flames of her love the night her Spaniard lover discovered the secret in her heart and kissed her, sealing her sweet and bitter fate. The Aztec drums with greater fervor for the tale is far beyond ending.

The moment in which Malinche and Cortes first lock lips and embrace, I feel that my soul is claimed by this passion and love; a love that *****loosens our limbs, sets us aflame***** (godchild, p. 43). Without a doubt, my soul descends into the realm of my ancestors and my ego is consistently humiliated by the lived experiences, images, dreams and numinous encounters that leave me aroused and speechless: Cortes and La Malinche are an eternal mythological expression that takes place on the stage of my body and emotions. The experience is numinous and pushes me further out beyond the cultural norms and traditions-a forbidden land. It is a place best described by Godchild:

*****I fall back into those chaotic states of ignorance, fear, and inconsiderateness, those falling apart places that so often have at their origin the vulnerable gaping wounds inherited from childhood, cultural, or incarnation destiny, that prevent our ability to love and simultaneously keep us humble and very human***** (2001, p.xx).

I am gripped by Eros as he lures me in, kissing me in a bittersweet seduction and I blindly follow him into the depths of a great mystery. At times I am in love, yet this does not feel like any falling in love that I*****ve experienced before but more like and addiction to something that could possibly split you open in half. I have tossed aside humility at times and behaved like an animal, mad with passion and ready for the kill; some nights I am on the prowl.

Reflecting upon where I stand in the dissertation process, I recall sharing in class that I am living and feeling La Malinche*****s passion since I have been called to the work. It is as though she is seeing and speaking through me, pointing the way to this dissertation process and from time to time she will remind me of her presence with passionate impulses and glimpses of her love for Cortes. Here I am reminded of one of the first concepts of heuristic research: self *****dialogue, which involves continual exploration and processing of what is being experienced. I am reminded of the importance of the researcher maintaining a sense of openness to leave way for a spontaneous and creative dance with the phenomenon that emerges for a transformative unraveling to occur.

Less than 6 months ago, I was invited to celebrate a bachelorette party in Vegas. Of all places it had to be the city where sinful secrets, fantasies and most passionate and guilty pleasures are available. Be that as it may, there is a saying in Vegas what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas; well that sure isn*****t true! It happened to be that in my case, the thing that happened in Vegas came home with me. However, the night before leaving Vegas, I was intoxicated not by alcohol, but by a profound emotion that had taken over my senses and body; yes, it was passion. I felt as though I had been struck by one of Eros arrows and had fallen for an ancient God-man who I believe, embodied Cortez. Given that it was Vegas in which this encounter and experience had taken place; I dismissed it. Little did I know then that Destiny had been attempting to reunite me with this man; not just on one occasion but on several occasions thereafter. Interestingly enough something in me would soon be awakened, infusing my soul, discovering something I had never experienced before. A month after my visit to Sin City, Destiny once again brought me into the man*****s presence. This time, we met at his hometown in California, the city of Angels. The following is a description of the second and perhaps my last encounter with the man-God:

He stood in a crowded dance floor amongst drunken men and women entranced under the spell of Dionysius. His Spanish blue eyes were piercing at me as I allowed my body to be moved by Dionysius and Eros, into his embrace. We had locked eyes as I followed the rhythm of his heart dancing to the music in the background. I could feel his curious hands caressing my body, making their way through to every feminine curve, mound and crevice. It felt so morally corrupting, and yet so divinely sensuous; the beating in my heart was like the music of heaven pulsating through my veins louder and louder, deafening out the supplications of the Superego. I could smell his sweet musky cologne as he pushed his body against mine and I, without much hesitation, could feel myself giving in as we swayed to the music. Almost as soon as he had done so, my hands began to touch and caress his masculine body, uninhibitedly, La Malinche boldly present and continuing on with an undying passion, taking over my body. The boundaries of time and space defaulted as soon as I tasted the sweet nectar of his lips. I was in a space of just being, neither he nor I spoke thereafter; something ancient had been constellated between the two of us, and amidst the passion and the intrigue, there was a sorrowful remembrance, a faint disillusionment slowly creeping into my heart: We are vastly separated by two different worlds and responsibilities. What could ever be of this?

As the night continued on, I experienced the burning of layers of insecurity and doubt about myself and preconceived notions about morality. As his body lay next to mine, images of Psyche and Eros welcomed themselves in. It was as if I alternated between embodying Psyche and La Malinche while he was both Cortes and Eros. There was no need for any sexual interaction to occur to experience a profound ecstasy. For a brief moment, I entered into a state of reverie and became aware that I was experiencing what La Malinche and La Llorona were condemned for; falling passionately in love with a God and betraying the secret of false morality and tradition in the face of the numinous. Without a doubt I had been falling in love with this man. I recall my ego attempting to make sense of it all.

Now I am left with passion infusing my research processes. It is coursing through my body, expelling out all previous notions of certainty or as Goodchild best describes it:

*****We are virginal again, we lose our tongues, becomes like an awkward teenager, not knowing what to say; voice stuttering, face blushing, forgetting, distracted, sweating, lips trembling. We are so unsure of ourselves, humbled by the Visitation***** (Pg. 43)

I know that I am being challenged by the work in my personal life and I continue to shed tears from my own personal complexes that are being constellated by the experiences. However, I continue love every single moment of putting the work into action. The experiences lure me in, seducing me into the spell of Eros. It leaves me with a thirst for passionate and numinous encounters. My hope is that these experiences will serve me and women in general the chance to speak and live out the glorious mysteries and of such divine love.

As it gets nearer to the actual dissertation research and writing process, I begin to feel anxiety over the pressure of having the statement of the research question clear. All I know is that I continue to be drawn to the love between Cortes and La Malinche. Although I have not yet had the opportunity to work closely with the *****, I am beginning to get clarity with my interaction in class with Dr. Elizabeth Nelson. I feel as if the images that have come through thus far have really drawn me to the topic of Secrets in our hearts and how it might relate to perhaps aspects of love and passion. However without a doubt, I feel that Dr. Elizabeth Nelson*****s comment over my interest on Secrets has really hit the nail to its place and that is *****how does keeping the secret fuel Eros?***** I recognize, even as I write this, that I fall back to those moments in my life where I have experienced such passionate love. After all, La Malinche is the container of women*****s most sinful and dreadful secrets of love. What better than perhaps considering Vegas as a place of research on secrets and love.

References:

Coppin, J. & Nelson, E. (2005) The art of inquiry: A depth psychological perspective. Rev.ed. New York, NY: Spring Publications, Inc.

Goodchild, V. (2001) Eros and Chaos. York Beach, ME: Nicolas- Hays, Inc

Moustaka, C. (1990). Heuristic research: design, methodology, and applications. Newberry Park, CA: ***** Publications, Inc.

Romanyshyn, Robert D. (2007). The wounded researcher. New Orleans: Spring Journal Books.

Process paper #2 with the ***** comments on the side

As I sit here now contemplating on where I stand now in my dissertation process I can*****t help but think of some readings I have done lately; especially Marion Woodman*****s book, Dancing In the Flames; the Dark Goddess In the Transformation of Consciousness. I think of how at this time it relates to what I am experiencing in my personal life now and how it has influenced my process in research. Upon reflection Marion Woodman*****s topic on building the subtle body she describes a dream of a client who was victimized by the masculine power:

*****She had, in effect, been forced to swallow the false, demonic ***** just as many today are being forced to swallow false masculine power, false *****, in the home, at school, in the workplace. They, too are being told, this is God.***** (Woodman, 1996. p.74.)

For the last 4 months I have entered into a state of where I have felt the effects of having been forced to swallow the false masculine power by a culture that does not embrace the relational and embodied feminine. Consequently I have lost my motivation to carry out research and thus far I feel I have betrayed La Malinche like Cortez did. Thus I have not been able to shake this sense of loss off my shoulders. This has resulted in a loss of passion and motivation to engage in the work of soul.

This patriarchal thinking has created much conflict in me and as a result I have stopped my relationship with my archetypal council. However, I feel that it is also La Malinche and La Llorona and Cortez who are involuntarily pushing me into the underworld, shattering whatever ounce of patriarchal thinking that is residing in my body so that their voices are heard. Woodman states the following;

*****The descent is undertaken either voluntarily, in search of a deeper goal, or involuntarily, when the abyss unexpectedly opens. The potential in either case comes from the fact that ordinary ego perceptions are shattered; cracks occur in the well- crafted persona.***** (Woodman, 1996.p.37.)

I am not sure anymore of who I am or where I stand in relationship to my current relationship with this research topic, but I know that I can*****t continue to embrace a culture in which the feminine has been ostracized, quieting the feminine and embracing the masculine; as I too feel pressure of the culture that has embraced this approach.

The price that La Malinche paid for refusing to submit to the patriarchy was costly and painful. I too have paid; romantic relationships have ended as I*****ve refused to play a part in the patriarchal traditions that limit and restrict the feminine. I*****ve had bitter arguments with family members for not conforming to the traditional feminine roles and instead been labeled a *****˜cruel bitch***** and at work I have been accused of practicing *****witchcraft.***** These experiences have led me to a state in which I find myself oscillating between emotional numbness and grief.

*****As a culture, however, we are still blind to the false assumptions underlying many relationships, still deaf to the snide remarks some women make to undercut other woman, still unable to pull the feminine out of the mud***** (Woodman).

Once again, patriarchy has defined what masculinity and femininity should be and throughout Western history this has been destructive to woman of all walks of life, in particular because it has resulted in woman turning against other women who don*****t fit the mold. For example, when we look at other women, we women do so with a masculine and patriarchal sizing up with a critical eye. As women we need to define what femininity and masculinity is for ourselves so that both can be integrated in us and to provide this energy to our children right at birth so that they can go on and define it for themselves.

*****Claiming the unseen corners of our psyches leads us to compassion for ourselves and for others. Knowing we have done our best and it simply wasn*****t enough opens our heart to other human beings whose best has likewise failed.***** (Woodman, 1996.p.52)

As woman, this is a very powerful theme that Woodman writes about. The unswept corners of our psyches correspond to the feeling-body connection that is often overlooked and misunderstood or approached fearingly. From personal experience however, this speaks to the feminine power of the body to carry our emotions and store them as potential wisdom either through conscious efforts such as through massage or yoga or through unconscious efforts such as through the development of psychopathology.

There is much fear involved in exploring the uncharted territory of the dark sea. I prefer those descents in which I enter with as little agenda as possible, or no agenda and see what mysteries and treasures lay in the dark. I know that my ego illusions and projections shatter each time I have had to descend.

Marion Woodman*****s book has produced much anxiety in me because the ego does not want to suffer and have its comforts removed. However I am comforted in knowing that Marion Woodman has made several descents and is still alive, feisty and kicking.

In matters of the dissertation process, this is where I find myself. In fact, even the way that that the content for this process paper is coming out of me, is unorganized, a pouring over of images and feelings which has a lot to do with the current state of my mind, body and *****. I am at home most of the time having been placed on workers compensation and medical leave due to an abusive relationship with my work agency. In retrospect, even that experience touches on my dissertation interests for it was the agency, just like Cortez (the negative patriarchy) that exploited me and sought to do away with my indigenous ways of practicing therapy; I was La Malinche and La Llorona. I fell in love with the promises of the work place and remained loyal only to be discriminated, slandered against and used for the agency*****s own purposes. And now I feel disposed of and broken. I cry and whale at times in the privacy of my bathtub and images of La Llorona crying and whaling at the banks of rivers enter my mind. Has La Llorona taken over my body? Is she coming through me in this way? If so, how where is the boundary between her and I; I would need a boundary so as to remain sufficiently objective and passionate to continue on with the dissertation work. Perhaps I have gone mad. Maybe I will stop and do away with this process*****¦.kill it. If I do, then it is the negative patriarchy who will come through; Cortez.

Maybe as I continue on working with the body movement, Object Relations therapist I am consulting with now, Apollo and Sophia can assist me in providing structure, order and wisdom.

All I want to do now is dance barefoot in the mood under a moonlit sky and call upon Eros in an attempt to seduce back to me.

Reference:

Woodman, M.,& E. Dickson. (1997) Dancing in the flames: The dark goddess in the

transformation of consciousness. Boston: Shambhala.

Esquivel , Laura. (2005) Malinche D.F: Mexico.

*****