Essay on "Kristoffer Borch WW2"

Essay 3 pages (1454 words) Sources: 0

[EXCERPT] . . . .

She clearly stated in her thesis she wanted to focus on positive aspects. All I've read thus far are negative.

It goes on to talk about free healthcare and how it's not free and it just continues to veer off the original thesis statement. When looking at the bibliography, it is just a bunch of links. Literally there is hardly any proper formatting, citations are wrong, and the lack of different sources really doesn't make the paper seem like it was well constructed. The beginning of the paper was great. If she would have continued down that avenue and tried to see the positive in healthcare like the new protocols for patients safety etc., maybe this paper would have been great. It just turned into the opposite and highlighted negative.

Gabriella Carbonaro

Psychological Disturbance & Etiology

The quote used in the very beginning fit quite well with the overall theme of the paper which is memory and the connection to Alzheimer's. First off, I just want to say, the style of writing is amazing. She knows how to express her thoughts elegantly with beauty and finesse. The other papers seemed as though they were mismatched and were not cohesive, this one seems cohesive. Everything connects, the transition sentences work, the introductory statements work, and you can see the thesis throughout the paper.

She included pictures, charts, she wrote a lot, almost 30 pages double spaced? And they were all helpful in understanding how memory plays into human emotion, intelligence, response to external stimuli, etc. A wonderful example of the kind of writing she utilizes: "Memory is used literarily as a device to give insight into the past or into a character as a whole. " The research she gathered laid out a concise outline of the goals she wanted to achieve in the paper such as how to identify Alzheimer's and the role memory plays in a person's development. "At present, APOE testing is used in research settings to identify study participants who may have an increased risk of developing Alzheimer's." It would be unfair for me to give any suggestions for this paper. It can easily turn into a dissertation. She even used case studies to illustrate her point. The outline is thorough just like her bibliography with a wide range of sources. She even had Appendixes. The formatting was also on point. This paper deserves an A++. That is how amazing it is.

Robin Elliott

Environment and Health Science

The margins are way off, by an additional inch or more. It looks like he shortened the space in between the margins to write less, but make it look like more. That is an automatic negative for me. There is no outline from what I see. It should either be in the beginning or the end, before the bibliography. The quotes match well with what he is presenting which is NYC and the city's actions towards making itself greener and less polluted. The paper is a little too vague and emotional, relying heavily on quote as transitions and not really getting to the thesis clearly.

These snippets from the first page explain it all: " take head " (I think he meant take heed) "that will lead to a better tomorrow. " for what exactly? " It made me stop to think that change often comes by the strength of one person having an idea for a better tomorrow. " repetition and also more vagueness. It was really disjointed because it sounded at first like the city is trying to decrease pollution, but then he is stating people of NYC don't care and/or aren't making changes to decrease pollution. Then later on he focused on the Bronx which should have been brought up in the first page since the rest of his paper brings up pollution and effects of said pollution in the Bronx. "listen an educate" I think he meant "and" not "an," also he used "you" in the conclusion, which is not good. Most of the time in an academic paper, the use of second person, "you," is not advisable. The bibliography looks okay. It is a decent length. My recommendations for this paper would be to include an outline, mention the Bronx and its role in polluting the city early in the… READ MORE

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