Term Paper on "Interpersonal Communication Here Culture"

Quoted Instructions for "Interpersonal Communication Here Culture" Assignment:

The completed paper should focus on your own analysis, evaluation and interpretation of the communications observed and the relationship to the material presented in this course. The paper should be 4 pages in length, double-spaced with 1" margins. You will need to support your paper with mandatory references from your journal, and at least 2-3 outside resources. You must be sure to include events from a variety of settings with a diverse population of participants. You should focus on relevant course concepts. You must also include a cover page and reference page (these are not counted in the 4 page requirement). It should be written using the MLA guidelines. Be sure to clearly express your own ideas. You should also proofread your paper; remember, this is a communication class, and the ability to communicate effectively in writing is also an important concept. NOTE: The student will not be graded by how favorably or unfavorably the student depicts his or her own interpersonal communication skills. There is no need to reveal deeply intimate aspects of life. Keep private from me anything that you feel should be kept private. This paper is about your observations and your ability to relate those observations to what you have learned throughout this course. If an entire interaction is deeply personal, you may not want to use it for a report. Write about something else instead. I expect each of the five "topics" you discuss to include a personal communication story that you have recently experienced or personally observed. Then with each story you must apply concepts from our textbook with page numbers as references. I want this paper to be an evaluation, not a research paper on theory! Evaluation of your own personal communications is best for this report. I am looking for a personal critique. This will show me that you have learned from our study and are growing as an educated person.

Textbook used for this course:

Text: The Interpersonal Communication Book, 11th ed

Author: DeVito

ISBN: 0-205-47288-5

Here are my journal entries:

06 Jun 06: My wife and I went shopping and to dinner and told our 18 year old daughter that we would return, “in a little bit”, and didn’t return for 2 hours. This resulted in our daughter being very upset since she thought we would only be gone for a short time and now her asking for specific lengths of time the we will be gone. For me, it brought to light the aspect of trying to avoid ambiguous phrases when communicating.

10 Jun 06: While driving to Slidell, La. Last weekend, my 13 year old daughter mentioned that she is interested in a new boy in the neighborhood. Without thinking, I got quiet and my wife told me that my facial expression said that I was not pleased with the situation. Later that night, I realized that this communication was inevitable and I needed to talk about it rather than avoid it and let her draw her own conclusions as to what I was thinking.

15 Jun 06: I experienced a severe case of communication apprehension during my Fitness Report debrief with my Commanding Officer today. Although I have been through many of these encounters in my career, this one was going to be different because I knew that she was going to ask my opinion on how our hurricane evacuation and subsequent command relocation went. Although I prepared myself and practiced my answer, I let my nerves get the best of me and did not even come close to communicating the message that I intended. I think this happened because I was going to tell her that I didn’t feel the command did enough in supporting their people during the recovery effort and that the people that were still in need are being ignored. Instead, I painted a rosy picture and basically told her that everything was moving along smoothly. By not communicating my message properly, I’m sure she now incorrectly perceives that everything is good and that her people are being taken care of appropriately.

18 Jun 06: Today, in my Father’s Day note to my dad, I disclosed to him how I really felt about his positive influence on my life and the person I have become. When I first thought about my message that I was going to write, I realized that I had never told him that so his self-concept of what I thought of him was not a true picture. Also, I’m pretty sure his self-esteem as a father was lacking as well because he probably didn’t feel as valuable or competent as he should. After reading the text, I also realized that I had opened up some of my hidden self to him. In return, he sent me an email message that contained things about how he felt about me that he had never said to me before. This immediately increased my self-concept, self-awareness and self-esteem as a person and father myself. It was amazing to watch how when one person decides to open up, the other person feels more comfortable in doing the same.

26 Jun 06: I had an interesting experience with how men and women interpret nonverbal communication. I was discussing countertop patterns for the house I am rebuilding in Slidell, La. and really liked a certain one which I pointed out to my wife. She nodded her head, but didn't say anything, so I took it as an agreement on the pattern. She stayed at our current home in Millington, TN while I went down to Slidell to work on the house and orders the countertops. When I told her which one I picked out, she got very upset because it was not the one she liked at all. I asked her why she nodded her head, which I took as agreement, and she said that she always does that as a part of her listening process to stay engaged in the conversation. The interaction really opened my eyes to be careful what I am interpreting with nonverbal communication.

20 Jun 06: Tonight, I had an interesting example of how I listen to my family during sporting events. After reading about gender listening differences on pages 115-117 in the text, I started thinking about how I listen and noticed that I actually give several listening cues such as "Yeah" and "un-huh" but am not really listening at all. I realized this because my daughter had a half-hour conversation with me about pitching our tent in the backyard the next day and agreed with the whole thing, even though I was not listening and just simply agreeing to make her think I was. I felt very bad when she was ready to put up the tent on Friday and I had no idea what she was talking about. My wife, who witnessed the whole conversation, just laughed and said that I agreed to whole thing. It has definitely made me concentrate on listening better when I'm watching television.

01 July 06: I had an interesting experience with informal time terms with my wife who happens to be hispanic. When I would ask her when something would be done or when she wanted to go somewhere, she would say "minana" which I was told meant tomorrow while I was growing up. I was surprised to learn from her that "minana" simply means later and could be an hour later of a week later, with no definite timeframe implied. I have since learned to ask for specific timeframes when she gives me the "minana" answer.

30 June 06: Had an interesting experience with my personal space this afternoon while riding in an elevator. I was the only one in the elevator going up when it stopped on the third floor. I was standing in the back left corner as you walk in and a young lady stepped in and stepped to the front left corner. This made me feel very awkward because I expected her to go the other side so we did not have much of a conversation. Two floors later, two more people got on the elevator and they each went to the back right and front right corners respectively. This evened out each of our personal spaces and we all had a decent conversation for the rest of the ride.

11 July 06: Last night as my wife and I were on our way to dinner she asked me if her shirt was too low. I told her that it was and she was upset that I didn't say anything to her before we left. I told her that I did attempt to send her a nonverbal cue that I was not pleased with her shirt and it was her fault that she didn't pick up on it. Basically, I was testing her to see if she would change the shirt without me having to say anything.

13 July 06: My wife and daughter had a very interesting conversation regarding relationships last night because she is getting ready to start college this fall and wants to make it her first priority in life and does not want to have a relationship at this time. When I asked her why she feels like this, she almost quoted Chapter 11 by saying that she didn't have time to devote to maintaining a relationship, didn't want to get her heart broke by having to deal with a break up. I threw in some of the advantages of a relationship such as avoiding loneliness and expanding her social skills, but she still insisted that she was going to avoid a relationship as long as possible in college.

15 July 06: When my mother was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, she decided to not immediately disclose this information to me and my brother. We had never been really good communicators as a family and this was probably one of the main reasons for it. She finally worked up the courage four months after her diagnosis to send us both a personal letter and information about the condition regarding how it affects a person and their family. I appreciated that she communicated her thoughts, fears and hopes to us and our communication has actually improved over the past year. My brother, however, did not appreciate a letter in the mail and has been very distant and will not discuss the issue at all. This has resulted in another communication barrier between us.

13 Jul 06: An example of a conflict that ended up being positive was the communications that I had with my stepdaughter when she first moved in with us. She was not used to having rules and discipline and several barriers went up immediately between us because we did not sit down and communicate our expectations and desires before trying to implement them. We spent several frustrating years trying to figure each other out until I finallly sit her down and communicated my thoughts and ideas with her and that I actually did care about her and was not just being mean. She broke down and told me that she thought that I hated her and was basically rebelling on purpose to get attention. It was very eye-opening discussion and we have had very good, open communication since that time.